Mad and Bad WOMan arising

My birthday

2008-07-25T02:50:11Z

I miss my mother so I don't feel like celebrating my birthday. In fact I been soo depressed. I should just get over it. it's just very hard. Just many ways I crawl in to bed and just not wake up. Every day I try to my best, some days it is my worst. I am very sad even if the world doesn't see it. I'm just Heather. This feeling I used to have as a child. Act happy so no one saw me cry, I have never been good at it.. Just ask Wendy, Becky, and Jen. I am sentitive.

I've been working out but you can not see it. trying not to be worst bitter bitch I am good at being. No. I am trying to be the best of who any person can be. Everyday, I try to complete the best job, and not lack off too to much. I just wish this hell of a world was not so mean, complicated or paranoid.

So for my birthday I will be hiding. Thinking about running away to the mini mountains were no one can find me. Maybe. Or not. I just don't want to miss my mother so very much.. Blah.

But hey the other night I got to hang out with my friends and say hi, but had to leave early because of work. Fucking work. fuck fuck fuck. sucks. but that is why we do it.

Dash of giddiness, side of smitten, and the real question.

2007-09-01T07:31:22Z

Current mood: hopeful

What is the main course...

Not worried, at all. So here the deal yo. I am moving my parents to the new house in two weeks but hopefully will have the furniture, by next weekend. fingers crossed. the big stuff anyways. This weekend is the making of the final arragements for move. So mark your Calendars, Saturday September the 8th will be the big move, with boxes and such this week is the week I am packing packing and more packing.. And can I just say, my family as collected enought crap, and no not stuff but crap, to fill at least one or two bed rooms of junk that isn't worth a dime. I mean that nicely.. And the mold from my house is starting get bad, see there is a leak that over this summer has gone bad to worst. I wonder how my parents can breath. Yeeck. I would move them sooner but I am afraid the house will not be done untill after we move all the stuff, so this week is my break it to make time. Wish me luck because we all know I am sometimes a flake, hopefully it won't happen now.

crazy world...........

2007-08-17T03:20:43Z

This is Heather...(Happy, kooky, talkitive, loving person).

This is Heather with her family on her back....(upset, distant, tearly all the time, emotional, mean, bitchy)..

This month has got me torn up, like a serious sister in stress. The only kookyness has been when I was too drunk, and it was more of an emotional outburst. If only I could use liquor for some sanity medication.

So thankyou, for all the listening to me, time and time again, I want to move out, and well, they are kinda upsetting me slowly, but at the same time I am stuck to them, My life was good because of them.. So thanks in one way or another for being my Umbrella... Ha ha ha See I am still here with my little pop reference, and my bad spelling combined. I feel soo emo, and I hate that fucking shit, at the same time I am still here.

And yeah, like I wasn't busy enought, I got a raise and a promotion, well they told me I will be working more and longer hours. I am doing by the seat of my pants, but getting there. When the Bayou Place is being build and well, they will need someone to help run the garage next to it. Maybe soon, one day.. God, I just realize how 30 I really am, I just dream of staying and still working for my company... Yeck.. anyways, it still is a small one of my dreams. Oh yeah, moving fucking sucks anyway you look at it..

and how are you doing?....

2007-07-25T07:01:42Z

I am turning 30' yeah the big three o. what the hell, am I going to do about? I am going to post it here.
So yeah, I am going to try to get everyone I can to come to Number's on Friday nite to celebrate my birthday. So spread the word and come out to 80's nite at numbers. Hey if you don't dance you can come and chit chat with me on the side. IF not you should come and dance.. Hells yeah.. and well if I did live on my own, I probaly just dye my skin wierd colors and take random pics. I would love to dye my skin purple for a day. I don't know, I just like the color purple... And yes you can come to number and just hang out and not dance if you want to.. So come one come all..

as of now I have a head cold......

Heather lite?.... Or sizing...

2007-06-13T04:21:06Z

two things have some up for coversations in the past week. Funny stuff.

A friend of mine said, when talking to people try to be less open, and just a little more private or at least till you get to know the person, or persons better.. Heather Lite? Is that even possible?.. I wish sometimes I wasn't such a in your face type of girl. But it always been me. I tell you when your wrong and when your right?.. right?... right.. And the truth is she right....... I can be a little intimidating, being who I am and all but gosh I wish the world could be more like me in the open as a book kinda way.. Because if they only knew, how wonderful the world can look with opened eyes... Oh well....

Now to the next subject.

Sizing... Okay we all know, I probaly won't date a guy who in to really skinny girls.. Why you ask? because I will never fit the skinny girl image.. I'm fine and okay with that, But a family friend said in a nice way, well you could always find guys who like fatties.. And that a big no to that too. The idea, if I gain or lost would matter to the person for more than health reason kinda scares me... I don't ever want to be define by my weight as love from my lover.. Hello, to me any side of the "extreme sector" is a little much. I am who I am and well, nothing else should would or could matter...Right?.. Right...Because when I look for a man, yes there are some things that make it or break it, and other things that don't and size isn't one of them.... Hansome is one of my choices.. Lucky me... Right? yeah you get the point... So here's to choices, may we all have that choice. No harm can come from a desire for choice.

Currently listening :
A Rush of Blood to the Head
By Coldplay
Release date: By 27 August, 2002

A thousand stories to tell but still stuck on one......

2007-05-16T06:10:05Z

Current mood: amused

Okay not really... But then again, I kinda am.. But let move on from the dreadful life of my home, that my bittersweet piece of hell. Again, I love my fucking family... and the dog is not evil, he is just a pup. Today was the first time, I saw Shamrock play with her just a little.. Moving on..

My Austin Trip was amazing, and what made it perfect was getting to stop on the side of the road and take pictures, in the BlueBonnets. Call it, old fashion, call me, goofy, but nothing said Texas better than the Blue Bonnets them selfs. ANd A Big Thank you to Becky for Stopping and a lovely picture.. I swear that smile there was completely genuine. As happy as a baked clam in that picture. www.myspace.com/rippinred for the pic.

Next Story, well my work sometimes, can get no satifaction... On Monday, I was suppose to go to a Meeting where we be talking about boring stuff on Power washing, sounded great to me.. I would get a free lunch and get to hang out with friends. Well, that didn't happen... I kinda had an idea though because it was mention that more where going than orginally planned and if that had happen I would stay in other's place. Well, I stay but no one told me how the gate meter were fucked up, and well no one knew.. So I call the manager for the garage, and he said, he was in a meeting and couldn't talk, click hung up. Then another Manager I did call and well, I did what he said. See no one really dealt with the problem, and then so when at the end of the day when there should empty, which it kinda was, the ticket dispencer was still saying the lot was full, and not dispencing freaking tickets... I told the other half manager about it, and she blew me off. Let me explain, I got balled out by three customers about them not be able to get in.. So by accident I talk to another manager about it, and she told me I should call someone bigger.. Then I called my boss and he freaked out. Screaming at me telling me why I didn't call him in the first place, well, after one hungup the 2nd manager I called told me to not call anyone more because they were and this big powerful meeting about power washing.. Okay.. I did what I was told. ANd well when the other per say manager showed up to there location, I told them about it and they blew me off to, telling me to tell them it was full and not to worry about it.. So yeah, I didn't sleep much from the night before because of other shit only to work 11 hours, and at the end to be balled out because of someone slacker atittude. I think they all fucking slacked off in my opinion. Also, lets in even mention the fact that all my bosses don't really trust each other.. and it all the blame and pass game. Gosh, one day I want to work for an company that brings me honor. Worst part is, is the bosses I like, I just hate the way the fight like freakin highschoolers. Which ones got the biggest balls?... I swear, it is sometimes kooky like that, but at the same time, I am a flake, and they hate that about me.. Oh well...

Also, I went on this date on friday, where a nice religious guy tried to save me.. Nice guy, but no clue on how to get a 2nd date.. Tips for Guys, whatever you view on Abortion, don't talk about it on the first date and think you will ever talk to a girl again.. Dumbass, and then when you see she is fucking sentive about it, don't try to save her soul.. Helloo.. I am fucking red head, I have no soul.. Duh...Freckles and Red Hair, did you not know the signs...

Big ass Ginger Kid.. Helloo, I been okay with not having a soul for years.. So if you do see me this weekend, I am the one wearing the shirt that says "Ginger Kid" so you know I am the one with-out the soul..

Also, last thought, I had in the last two weeks three wonderfull dates. Again, the were with women, and no men.. No sex, just chitca.. And no I am not a freaking lesbian.. I wish.. I maybe get more action. Thanks to Becky, Wendy, and Jen. Kisses

RED

Nobody said it was easy....

2007-04-07T19:01:00Z

Think back when things were easy... Wondering what makes life so hard... It all about trying to get back to that place that started it all. The first kiss, the first dance, the first time meeting..

The night you walk away, because you were unsure... The night you realize it was never going to be different. The night when you cried, because they left you, because you were not enough. The night when it was enough. Remember all thoses memories...

Cooking some amazing food. Eating till your stomach could take nomore. Kissing your honey till ya passout because of too many drinks. Or talking for hours because you both had something to say.. And that smiling... The grin. The look. The moment you wanted to last forever...

The sex... I have had some great sex, with some beautiful people, and for a moment, we didn't think about anything else.. Just two bodies as one. The cuddling.. waking up in the arms of someone you have loved.

First night of winning a challenge. Together as a team, either with friends or lovers it is always fun. Night of either drinking with friends or lovers and dancing.. Always good. Just the touch. Of their beautful body... Oh to touch them again...

Then the hard parts, helping them puke there guts out because you kept feeding them your drinks, or they doing it all for them selfs... Paiding the bills on time, and not making it.. Watching them spent money on things, you don't think they need.. Having them not look at you the way you want them too. The fighting.. The crying, we all do it. The walking away from the idea of love. The bond is broken.. the saddness sets in... Deeper and deeper you fall. The feeling of lost inside your gut. The maddness that takes over your mind and body.. The lost of hope to all around you. The pits of dispear you fall in to. Losted.
Then when the caring hand comes, you see some light. Some where beyond the horizon.. You step up, and remember the lost and start looking for hope. Remembering who was there when you almost died. But you did and that is the way it is.. You are now a new person.. A new spirit. Full of hope. Full of life. Now you have this thing, underneath it all that is this amazing light force, that is you...

People now see it, they didn't see it before because you didn't know how to show it. Hell you didn't even know you had it. But it is there and it walks with you everyday. When you shake someone hand. When you smile, they can see it. Some will grab and hang on the wave, some will love it, some will hate it. But it is all okay because you know it is just the spirit of you. So walk proudly my friend you have earn it. You done nothing wrong, you just became a human being.... Love, it makes us crazy and sometimes stupid, but it what makes life soo great.. The re-discovery of ourselves... And we can only find what we will and what we will not do because of it. Crazy thing called love..... Enjoy while it lasts. It might not be there tomorrow.

Kisses

RED

mad_woman9111 @ 2007-03-24T03:32:00

2007-03-24T08:32:33Z

What does your drawing say about YOU?

mad_woman9111 @ 2007-02-25T13:28:00

2007-02-25T19:28:01Z

Today...
Current mood: sad

At 8:40am my uncle past.

Yesterday, I went to see him and stay with him for five hours. First I freaked out on the fucking nurses, because he looked scared. Like my mother did so many years ago. My mother died on February the 28th at 2:15pm, about 12 years ago.

My uncle was never the same after his stroke, he already had a child like mind set and after his stroke he was like a lost child looking for his mother. My grand-mother has now out lived both of her children, and is doing okay, concerning...

So yeah, I freakout yesterday until I was told this is how he was going to be. Morphine. Then the rest of the time he wasn't responsive. They told us be would be like that until tomorrow. At least he wasn't in pain. Wasn't knowing what was going on. He just had the short breath that he took longer and longer breaks in between. A couple of times, we wonder if he stop breathing then after 40 seconds he start again. Part of me just wanted to lay next to him all night. I went home and ironed. I am made curtains until 5 o'clock in the morning.. THen I tried to sleep, it didn't happen. I think I might have slept better if I wasn't so fucking sober. But then again I might have gone over board if I started.. So my uncle is dead. But at least I knew him. I loved him.

12:48 AM

who would have guessed.

2007-02-16T07:41:53Z

You scored as Miss Scarlet. You're most like Miss Scarlet- the gutsy and beautiful woman who runs a house and telephone service which "provides gentlemen with the company of young lady for a short while." Deals in secrets.

What "Clue" character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com</table>

The American Fad.

2007-02-12T06:53:48Z

The american women is me.

I am a human being.

It is wrong, for not to be as Healthly as I could be.

A person said once in front of me but whisper into another person's ear; "She always drinks is diet Dr.Pepper, but it never going to do any good". A while after that I only drank regular Dr.Pepper. That fucks with your head.

Some people like big ladies, some don't. It is not just that. I want to stop eating bad food at the same time I would love to excerise more. It is not that.

Like today, my family and I saw my my uncle and he only lost half of his leg, I think right above the knee. He not breathing on his own yet. It was bad.

It took all my strength away. So when dinner came, we ate popeye's. We didn't cook. We ate gressy ass potatoes, and buscuits. We saw his tortured body and knowing that it wouldn't help our health, still we ate the fatting food. At the same time, we didn't have the strength to cook. I barely cleaned my clothes for next week. It took a toll on me. The pain that is not good. The saddness, bought anger, and pain. It took a toll on my grandmother as well. She wants me to be healthly and I do, but after all that, I wanted to drink or gorge on food or get high or something. The pain, just sucks. So I'm going to bed, but I am sad. And now it like I need to shape up, or maybe one day I might be like him. I don't want to, but at the same time my health needs to be a main concern. At the same time stresses like that kill me. I mean darn it I wish I could do more.

Don't worry I am feeling better I talk to someone and my mother I cried, I will be okay. IT just hard to see my uncle in such a state of pain.

I feel like the Rock Biter.

2007-01-29T01:41:33Z

From the "The Never Ending Story"

Rock Biter: They look like big, good, strong hands, don't they? I always thought that's what they were.

Rock Biter: A hole would be something. No, it was nothing.

Today I saw my uncle. This week he lost a toe and part of his foot. I sat there for his birthday and watch him cry for mostly the whole time, except when of course when he was eating cake he didn't cry. Why because his life sucks. He been crying for the last three years or so, ever since he realize he was going to have to stay in a nursing home. I ask him time and time again, what wrong with nothing to be said. His butt hurts but there is really nothing we can do for it. because what he really only wants is to live at my house. So what do you do, you sit there and watch him cry as you keep wiping the snot and slobber from his upset face. At you walk in and as you walk out, you see thes soul left there to die. THese people are kind beautiful people who can not care for themselfs, so they wonder the hallways looking for someone to notice them. Once a month or so there family comes, some don't have anyone. Now some of them can talk and have made friends there, but most are like my uncle and has trouble communicating, so they sit there in this distance stare. My mother said to me while I was feeding my Uncle Bobby his birthday cake, "Be careful, you don't want his sugar level to get to high". ANd my cold responds was... "What the worst it could do to him? Kill him. Because that would be worst than what he is feeling right now?..." Damn let the poor man eat is fucking cake. He didn't smile, but he did ask to eat it. So with what little he has, or ever had, I be damn not to let him have his cake. FOr the love of god, they took toe the other day, and if I know anything the nursing home he is in will not care for his toe well, and he will probly get fucking gang green again, so forever reason let him eat his fucking cake.

My uncle would never want anybody to be treated the way he has in the last years he been there, they would begged for death a long time ago, but no he doesn't. FOr what ever act of god he has survived. I mean he went there because My grandparents nearly starved him to death because they didn't know and the doctors where never clear to them about treat him. Trust me there is more to this but It would take to long to type.

And I know not everyone was looking forward to reading this sad point of life. But I feel soo fucking crazy when I see him, I would do anything to release him from his pain if I could, I mean he has been retarded for his whole life, and doesn't reserve this at all. He not a bad guy, he never hurt anyone or anything. To me what I see it torture. He is lack of any postive spirit. I would slit my own neck then be put through what he is going through. And this is the best health care, the goverment can buy him. Fucking America's health care system.

My mother says I have a talent...

2007-01-09T07:44:10Z

Sad thing is, my mother said, my talent was going outside in the late of night to dig a hole to bury our family dog. NO not Shamrock, that my baby and she is going to live forever. No, "Fancy","Sugarpie"(my nickname for her), or little rat, as some who called her. She was a loud dog. Some either loved, or dislike, because of her barking, and ankle biting technique's.

It was my grandmother's favorite doggie. That because shamrock's my baby and my mommy wanted her own baby. Well her baby had a heart condition. I think a level 5 heart mirmir. Which meant it only had a year or so to live. She last about almost a year, but this is my house where if my grandmother doesn't have dinner by a certain time, she goes crazy and screams, this is because her blood sugar get low.

Before it died it came in to my room and was laying on my stuff. I picked her up and put her on my chest, I could feel her breathing, it sounded like if she had hard time breathing, it didn't sound good. But she had been this way all week, also we went to the doctor twice because she had a cold that wouldn't go away. Well, my grandmother wanted to hold her, so I took her in to see her. After a while my grandmother put her down, and she went back into my grandparents bedroom to run under the bed, and well, she didn't get that far. The sad girl, and only half way under the bed when her heart stopped. Oh I kept thinking she would wake up, except for her limp body. I mean she was still warm. At one point I thought she moved. But her tongue was sticking out and no breath was coming. So I did the only thing you can do in that situation, I picked up her fraglie body, put in a blanket, and brought it to the door. Then I went outside and dug a hole. Two feet deep. Bury her then covered her up.

This is the first time beside when I was three that I bury one of my dogs. THe first one was a cat that got ran over. Shoebie. I think. Well, when the rest died, my grandmother would do it with out me, and she would tell me after she took them to the vet. See she take me swimming, and in the middle of the water, say " Heather, I put sunshine,or cookie to sleep today." it wasn't at the same time but in the same way. Then she would swim off. I be in the water, thinking about my puppies, because they were always pups to me, and how I just lost my dog and how my grandmother would swim off. Don't do that to your kids. It fucks them up later. Tonite was the first time I got to make real peace with my animals after it's death. I will miss that damn yappy dog. I kinda loved it. I did love her. She would come in my room before and sit under my desk while I type on here. It was sweet. Good bye fancy, though it was only a little while I glad I got to be with you. I love you fancy.

mad_woman9111 @ 2007-01-05T11:06:00

2007-01-05T17:06:16Z

Your EQ is 113

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

mad_woman9111 @ 2007-01-02T12:13:00

2007-01-02T18:12:57Z

MindMap

Tonight is one for the books....

2007-01-01T10:42:13Z

Truth be told I wasn't really looking to score with anyone but I sure did dance with enought ladies. It was one of the greatest times...
COOL BEANS

So how fuck up were you last nite?....

2006-12-27T07:42:00Z

Current mood: amused

"The Christmas Project"

What happened in 72 hours would take to long to write. I'm just going to give you the last 24 hours, and there is no fucking short version.

Christmas started on the Eve at about 2am. Tired and needing to go to bed, I did dishes, and started on my ham pin wheels. In a trance I finished them. Then to my extra bed room were I have been smoking my cigaretttes. Well, I was thinking one cig then off to bed, nope didn't happen. Started watching "Slums of Beverly Hills" and didn't stop till it was over. About somewhere in the 5am range I went to bed.

I woke up around 1:30pm to my amazement, and with a mad dash, we open presents. My best friend called to tell me it was okay because for a while the sink was clogged up. Now with my shower and packing the last of the stuff to go to Wendy's I give my father a detailed three page instructions on how to get to Wendy's, with numbers and everything else. It was fool proof. I am out the door and half way to Wendy's when I get a call from my daddy's new cell phone, he know how to use it, Yippie, telling me his car battery is dead. Great. Then Wendy calls me with the same news but also to tell me the turkey is still frozen. I tell not to worry, be there in a flash. Well, after tens mins in the water the turkey was letting me get the inners out, so I put it in my roaster and stuck some water in it and low heat for a quick defrost. Put out some appetizers, and ran back out the door to Help my father with the dead car thing.

Well, V help me so I could make it back to Wendy's to help her with everything, and my parents could go to my Uncle's and wish him a merry christmas. See he has not much, except for us, and when I say us I mean mostly my grandparents. Grandparents, parents are the same thing to me. Moving on..

I get there with my father argueing with me about something that should have discuss earlier if he wanted me to go out with them. I just brush it off and with V's help, I got back to Wendy's. My parent went to see Bobby, and that was a good thing. When we get back Wendy and her other brother were fighting. He was not happy with life so he was taking it out on everyone around him.

He was seperated from the rest of the Household, and Wendy and I started cooking. We skipped the Mash potatoes, because we were going to also have sweet mash potatoes, we didn't need both. More people started to arrived and the appetizers were good. No one got the stomach flu, I gave everybody that two years ago. Opps. Kids were running around playing with new toys. We and i at one point made Baklava for the fact we had the ingredients. I swear I wasn't has helpfull as I could but I tried. Wendy is just one of those super woman that can do anything.

Right when Dinner was ready, except of course the turkey, it needed another 20 minutes, my parents called from the road, they were lost. My father left the instructions at home. No worries, with a couple of phone calls they were here. or there. After everyone was done with dinner the Turkey was done. Ha ha ha. Oh well, there is always next year right? So I take a bite or two, and it was good. Too bad everyone already stuff them selves with ham. Well, my grandparents were tired, so I sent them home in my car.

I stayed trying to help Wendy with cleaning up, and hell I wanted to hang out a little longer. Well after carving my turkey I put it in plastic baggies, I want a rest. I went in to the "adult drinking room" and for a while there I had a nice Buzz. Then with me out of the room a fight breaks out. We break it up, and then my nerve are shot. I was shaking, because my blood sugar drop and my adrenaline spiked. Well, on that note I started getting ready to leave. My bags were packed and I was Wendy and I were out side when we realized maybe we should come back in to make sure everything was okay. Nope. Again, this time with a choke hold. Not good. Again pulled apart and left. V was taking me home, and considering what just happened I wasn't feelin like just going home. So we went to Fitz's to see 30 foot Fall. YEah.

So after a free intry, Hell yeah, that was lucky, we get are drink on. After 3 whiskeys and coke I was feelin good. Hell yeah baby. It was fun.. I ran in to my long loss cousin, he this cool guy I grew up with, who knows my cousin I don't like,anyways... Saw lots of old friends , Miss you Trapper, Peter, and Nathan. I got to grab some ass. Thanks. And ended it by hanging out with Cora, Nick, and J-tan. Also got to say hi to Jimmy, and other fitz's people I miss.

Now you think it would end there, nope.. Ha haha... So after we were kicked out of Fitz's V and I went back to my house for a couple more beers. Then went to his house and past out. It was fun. Kept getting woken up all morning by ramdom phone calls, that could have killed me. Got to work only 8 mins late and only a little bit still hungover. Ahh. Life is good. Now if my boss would only be happier, for christ sakes he acted like today he wanted to beat someone up. Damn. Now we wait for the new years party ... Oh I'm am excited.

I wrote this out before I got home, it was six pages..

mad_woman9111 @ 2006-12-23T01:49:00

2006-12-23T07:49:32Z

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Reverend Countess Rippin Red the Intransigent of Menzies on the Minges
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Rippin Red the Imaginary of Great Leering
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Going with whatca got...

2006-12-17T20:48:25Z

Ya know most don't know this but I was raised by a jewish grandmother, who didn't practice, and this was because her grandmother who also raised her, was afraid to talk about her religion, because of the war and such. Mostly in California in the twenty's they were not too happy with the Jews. So my grand mother's grand mother said she was french. When my grandmother was a little older she got her grandma to omit it by annoying her. Asking for porkchops very nite, and inviting men who spoke french to the House to speak to grandmother. Who by the way only knew one line of french, you will have to ask about that one. okay here it goes..Vous parlez français?.. Yeah the guys never stay long. Her grandma finally said," Okay Pottisy you caught me so I am a jew". My grandmother still feels guilty, when her grandma, ask if she should try to get her sister to come to america, my grandmother said, we barely can afford to take care of ourselves we can care for another person. But she was only seven, and she said she didn't know that her great aunt was going to be killed later that year. Crazy stuff... So my great,great grandmother also lived in this corner street apt, and she had a redlight she keep on, and it would embarrass my grandmother so, because her grandma didn't know what it meant, and she like the color of the light. Now that makes me wonder a little. I could go on more about this subject, but I realize it more than a paragraph, and well, a short novel to explain my family world in more detail...

The point of this blog was going to talk about how the culture of being a jew stills travels on even if you don't practice it. But now that I said all that in the last paragraph I feel just a little guilty about what I am going to say next. So I say it anyways.. I know how to make something out of nothing. I am talking about food, coffee, and other stuff like that. Maybe it could be caulk in to being resourceful person, but I would like to give some credit to my mother.. I will say this she never really cook the meals I learn how to make but the variety she did cook made me understand about what works and what doesn't.

Back to the point of the blog. Today my father was complaining about how he didn't have any dr.pepper, and how he was afraid of driving because he felt tired. So we first debated on what had more caffine. So I told him coffee would work, well he wanted the instant stuff that I think wouldn't do it like a normal cup of Drip Joe. So I mix in the instant stuff with the coffee, and then added soy milk, and now I think about it, I should have added a little chocolate syrup, because he loves that. Anyways, he was completely okay even without the syrup. So there ya go I am your starbucks on a budget. Ha ha ha.. That was my point.

I swear I could make some really cheap recipes that you would totally think was gourmet.. I just cool like that. And before you say why not I become a chef, because some have ask, because I like cooking for people I care about.. Not for someone I don't know.

what will they come up with next?

2006-12-15T06:30:31Z

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

And what in hell does that mean....?

2006-12-12T09:20:37Z

LEO:

If you have climbed too far out on a limb, now is the time to reclaim your boundaries and shore up your emotional territory. Your tendency these days is still toward over-extension, but a little self-awareness can go a long way. Focusing your thoughts on what is most important can help you to get it all back into the box from which it has apparently escaped.

Now to find my floss. Stop. Think. Listen. I swear it helps so much. That of course is listening to what I am feeling.. Fuck I am still not sure. It is super hard for me to think I am not normal. I feel I am, but then again, it is normal for me. If I look at what society thinks what normal is, I am not that. I don't dislike the idea, of not being normal, but it is what kinda I want. I would like to be married one day, have kids, and a career that is more meaningful. I thought that was normal, that was the american dream. Is that not for me because I am not a christan, or a jew? Just because I am democrat and a hippy about religion, does it mean, I don't love the idea, of that others do, about love and honor. Right? Does it also mean I have to love someone who is not good enought for me? Let me explain.. A person who doesn't have the same goals as I.. I don't know. Maybe I am meant to love someone that can not love me back. Well, if that is the case I will be single forever. Why in the hell would anybody want that. ANd no I am not talking about my relationship at this time. It just something that i was thinking about.. When someone said in front of me, to his girlfriend, "We are like to weird peas in a pod". I felt maybe that they were trying to prove something to somebody. I not sure who. Why do we had to be weird to feel comfortable? I thought they were normal. Maybe not to society's standards, but I wasn't thinking about that when I hear one of them say it. And again, it is still ticking in my head. Someone said, Heather if you want to be normal you might not want to hang out with the people you do. But I do. I guess, I feel maybe weird is almost a setback word. I mean, now here were I go off. Think of a word that degrades someone.

Degrades:

1. To reduce in grade, rank, or status; demote.
2. To lower in dignity; dishonor or disgrace: a scandal that degraded the participants.
3. To lower in moral or intellectual character; debase

Now I am proud of who I am, but am I this?

weird:
1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.
3. Archaic Of or relating to fate or the Fates.

I not sure, but when I think about describing a person weird, I think of a petafile or stocker, and no, not the peta people. I guess, I think of negitive things about the word weird.

Damn lady, what have you been doing with your week...

2006-12-04T07:11:38Z

Don't ask me because I been ass backwards all weekend. First, I thought "Fucking Transmission" was playing this friday, only to find out there playing next friday. At the same time I found out that the award party I was going to isn't happening to next weekend. Also, last but not least, I thought I had a meeting today only to find it was also next week. So everything I was doing this weekend was wiped away.

So this is what I been doing all weekend... I worked late on Friday, and after that I went to walgreen's and spent way to much money on stuff I needed. Like floss, I bought three kinds, lotion, nail hardener, and face powder. promise I needed most of it..

Saturday I worked, and then went around town with a friend looking for crafty supplies and other stuff along those lines. Then I went and got my eyes brows waxed, and let talk about the welts that are still visable. I needed to get it done, but that why I only do it once in a while. I was feeling kinda lonely on Saturday, untill I talk with a friend for a while. THat made me feel better..

Then it came Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.. I went to church then for coffee with a friend. Then more came and I left, because there were leaves that needed raking. Seven bags later, I am done. I finish writing in this blog but I beeen wanting to write more, if only I would give more time to it. Oh well, it will have to wait. I swear you will get more later..

Firemen and Me

2006-11-30T04:48:53Z

amused

So one of my friends, is gay, oh what a big shocker there. Anyways, when the firemen where downtown signing their Calendar my friend wanted one, so he gave me money to get him, one and one for me as well. How super sweet, being next to super sexy firemen, getting able to flirt all I want. Well, I felt just plain awkward, staring at these men, who in my opinion didn't need me or my flirting. I think the best part was the 40 plus women flirting with them and they did talk back as they were eyeing other women walking by.. The firemen try to talk to me, but I was kinda cold, I think it was after I saw the same guy trying to talk to me, while looking at the pretty women passing by. It was a routine for them, and for me, it wasn't. I couldn't tell if the men ever look at the women they are talking to. That bother me more. My friend, just paid 30.00 bucks for two calendars, the least you can do is smile. Anyways, I took my friend his calendar and told him, I wasn't really into doing that kinda of thing, he said... "Heather you get a long more with the freaks and the geeks", and I said, Your right. I feel normal being different than other people. The bad thing about this is I am very loud about it. Hello.. I love my people whatever kind of person they are and will fight, in most cases I don't, to the death, for that person, or people.

Call me whatever, but I am not pretty betty bow peep. I am one, big gorgeous, and loud redhead.

Cheesey about Channel 8

2006-11-27T07:09:51Z

Ever watch the ending of sunday's broadcast?.. The play the Pledge of Allegiance, then static. Wow, how proud I am to be american or at least I think about it when it plays.
I had a new found hope today, partly because I got to hang out with someone special, partly on the fact I really did nothing yesterday. I did stuff but only after nine pm. That made me happy. Today I cleaned my room and washed clothes. I enjoyed it. I am not worried. Okay tons of stuff to be concern with but it will get taken care of. I just sometimes worry to much. I am glad not to be soo tied down, like I have been. Good times. Thanks peoples.

to funny not to post...

2006-11-25T18:48:39Z